july twenty seven

i apologize, for the grief 

when i yelled instead of crying 

when i was loud instead of quiet 

when i pushed you, 

instead of kissing your face 

i apologize for the heaviness

when i piled on the weight

and when i pressured you to move 

when you needed to wait

i am sorry for the walls, 

instead of opening the gate 

and when i turned into stone, 

when you needed a soft face

i know i move too fast,

when you need a slow pace

i know i miss all the details 

and brush over small things 

and i look to the future

then forget where i need to be 

i know i carry a lot

and look down on the weak 

and then i seem to collapse

from the smallest of things 

i know i bulldoze the garden

instead of letting it grow 

i know i feel too much 

and i can’t let it show 

and i tear down the boundaries 

when you expect me to save face 

i know im rocking the boat

and im a kick in the face 

im sorry for the ways

i could be better, i could do more 

im on your side, but sometimes 

i think i make you hurt more

forgive me for the failure 

forgive me for the grief 

forgive me for the anger

forgive me for being me