on my way

i saw you

saw you looking back from where you’re going

don’t know what you need, 

know what you're showing

saw him, 

he that made a fool of all your crying

left you such a mark you swear you’re dying 

but im on my way to where you are

im on my way to where you are 

go home 

ill call you in the morning when i need you

cause i got nothing left id love to feed you

and im on my way to where you are 

written by j taylor 

crack like the pavement

the tears,

they are random 

because i feel okay 

almost all of the time 

then i crack like the pavement 

i melt for a moment 

i stare at the simple, open sky 

and i dream of a place

where the wind never dies 

& tears aren’t so funny 

and rivers are wine 

because i try to find 

a hand to hold mine 

but nobody wants me

no one is mine

i run until i can’t 

i run until my nose bleeds

i run until the pain 

is in my muscles and joints 

and not my head and heart

i grip the steering wheel 

i punch the dash 

i peer through the camera 

and it makes me gasp 

because all of this, 

whether or not it comes into focus 

is so beautiful 

it takes my breath away

you contain galaxies

i will 

remember the moments

that i saw the real you 

blue eyes

present 

intense and unafraid

your fear of the future 

of the shifting tides

that remind you 

that you are shifting, changing 

barely containing 

this heavy, hovering anger 

i see you 

i see the beautiful, magnificent boy

that is you 

you contain multitudes 

you contain galaxies 

mountains and seas 

storms and gardens 

they seem to contradict 

they seem to hurt everyone 

as they come in waves

but you’re not meant to hurt 

you’re not meant to contain 

you’re meant to channel

all of this energy 

love and emotion

anger and pain 

it’ll turn into music

it’ll turn into pain

life won’t contain you 

life won’t betray 

love won’t control you 

love won’t restrain

faded green

i held in my arms 

the shattered pieces 

my scars have worn down 

i don’t remember my arms before 

the tattoos and scars,

they are a part of me 

i stared at the wall 

at the ceiling fan 

i watched my plants wither away 

and stop blooming 

til they were weak and faded green 

til they looked like me 

crushed by exposure

somewhere in the neighborhood 

of grit and good intention

i lost my way 

because i was strained through the sieve 

i was crushed by exposure

like the maple leaves

i burst into color 

before falling to the ground

and maybe it’s the weather,

or lack of sleep 

or my worn out boots 

or the ground underneath

maybe it’s the distance 

between you and me