Arms

summer falls drunk
in the house of winter
only to wake up
in the arms of Spring.

Roads/Remember

//restless//heartless//sleepless
mind is full of right and wrong
what the hell, this road i'm on?
a year ago i walked the same
(mis)trust, i'll always play this game
 of catch me if you can
(but what if they really can't?)

you've seen my death 
believe in my resurrection

open sky 
rain on me
wash the pretense
drown the defense
build me up 
like the castle in March 
like the forts in June 
on the edge of the forest 
calling my name- do you trust me? 
i heard inside, near tallest pine 
young and wild like the rugged west
quiet and clear like the eastern hills
highways stretching 
wandering roads remember
all the places i looked for you 
and you found me first. 

i've walked with death
but i remember Resurrection.

Pilgrim

i have a story
i can't even read
the dark pages i ignore,
you write with gold
you read outloud
to break the silent shame
the plot a plundering thief
the script a suffering piece
the fighting severe, sometimes it's killing me
tangible breaking, perfection is faking

i have a brother
hiking with me
dancing like david 
singing in the trees
we built ferocious fires
on the brink of the lake
broke bread and stayed up late
throwing rocks at the stillness,
you told me not to be so serious
dreaming of surfing and swordfish
adventure burns brightly in my mind
my only expectation.
 
i have a sea
that is waiting for me
riptides to tear me up
oceans to drink
words scratched in stone
never forgotten
these rivers are running
right into my chest

perched on the cliff
i could see for miles
the things i run from are deep inside me
lay down your backpack 
break the walking stick
wilderness open wide my heart
for the Mountains drown it all in grace

Lion Night

the silence glitters on the grass
resurrection every breath
streetlight to streetlight
realization is empty
grasping for reality
i cannot read your script
i cannot hear your symphony
but i hear your heavy heart
as you walk beside me 
and part the dark sea

(Jan. 15)

Dreamer

and the stories you sing
as you teach me to dream 
make the tears glisten
in my eyes as i listen 
and it's always a shock
to see you catch the drops
like i'm worth enough to stop
to sit with me up in the treetop
as the sunset bleeds over all of us 

(summer, 2010)

Here

eyes unrecognized 
i'm not here
i'm far away
washing my hands 
gentle with forgiveness
he told me he'd fight whoever did this

memories are shattered, scattered traces
nameless, faceless
i leave them behind 
pieces of pain
crystallized colors
things that i love
blur them into one pane
the most beautiful painting
deep and wide
arms outstretched contrast the sky

realization is stunning
like sharp winter air
running hard
on the heels of March
look at the scars, stare at the stars
smoke in my lungs 
on the roof of February 

Found

quiet, with no shoes
i broke the wall and
knew for certain
that i was Pain
and not a child
white hospital walls
tattoos, i still see them in my head
peace misunderstood, grace on their faces

when the sunlight hurt, beautiful and new 
you sent me down the tracks 
to look you in the eyes 
to find broken glass, and hold it up to the light
finding new things
i never knew i was okay,
until you found me.

September 16, 2012

it's dark, and the small things 
that sing quietly in the trees 
are the best sound i've ever heard
i feel small, too small
like i'd rather not speak
yell louder than the crashing waves
and beautiful songs
and everyone else's words of wisdom
i remember a time when you knew my name
& and maybe even what i was thinking
but sun's gone down and now i'm drinking 
the medicine that i made
turn my face towards the stars 
blur my eyes with tears 

You met me in the woods 
and up in the mountains, 
where the snow runs down to race the rivers
falling head over heels in love with Danger
you've kept me safe, you've tied the anchor
you want me around, you brought me here
so turn my face to the stars 
blur my eyes with tears
turn summer days to years 

"I'll never stop."

Red

words are nothing
i cannot speak
to summarize the silence
i cannot open 
these eyes wide enough
to see the colors
knuckles bleed on the wall

separate the sermons screaming
motivate the endless dreaming 
i cannot fake (my ears are ringing)
and these ancient
rivers stream as one 
the Nile's bleeding in the sun
and who's to say it shouldn't run?

the sun gave up, burned beautiful at the stake 
so stay up late
to watch the pain unpack
and set up camp on the carpet
building fires, telling stories
i would love to forget
and 3am comes silent
i'll borrow, never steal
disconnection is surreal
visions blurring, can i feel
okay


filter through the memories
what was that you said?
if only those words were printed Red

my deepest needs like little children
cry for you with open hands
and broken hearts will wait for dawn 
to drown the Darkness

V

caught between memories
faces i've seen shine bright
love like the ocean
doesn't care who you are, where you've been 
washes over like a riptide
like a summer night
like the bluest sky
everything hurts when you come near
nothing makes sense 
when you're hopping the fence
to dig in the graveyard
and resurrect this death
you know everything that's buried grows.

you've given me quiet streams
trails unending, mountains to reach
you're everything, you're too much
you're faster than me, you're face to face
to tell me that you're with me 
and I'm enough. 

i'm lifted up, i'm held by you
i'm not less, i'm not sinking, i'm not death
 i'm free like the mountainside
running like the river
i am a song that reverberates on these rocky trails.
 i'm not going anywhere too far from you

Daze/Days

yeah i threw away the map
i lost my shoes 
i cursed the sky
but i feel the pain with every breath
with every step
with every sigh

stretching like a landscape
the line i drew was right
painting like a preacher
tossing like the tide

the stars are begging ransom
the sea is reaching high
the trees are speaking poetry
my tears are running dry

Dusk

feet on the dirt path
the coin's inside the tree 
the treasure's at your feet 
eleven years of waiting
(surely it's forgotten me)
tunnels through the treeline
hopping over fences
silver buttons, gold ribbons
walnuts to warpaint, streaked on our faces
running 'til dusk settles

life is a haze
true and false and everything between
rainwater runs and blurs memories
like new binoculars and stranger conversation
i'm on the wrong side of the fence
most things don't make sense 
i'll never trust again
 "but i was young" that's my defense