Sunday, December 15, 2013


braided and tangled
i've seen the stomp
the drumbeat inside 
feathers and fire
mane and desire
nothing can feed you
and nothing can keep you
and no mountainside
is wide enough
to guide your restlessness
to swallow your scenery

you see that river?
where lions bleed 
and babies splash 
so brightly born and 
crying for more

i'm swimming the river
and fighting the deep
wanting to swim 
and needing to sink 

you see that river?
where lions cry 
and you will splash
so brightly born and 
crying for more


flecks of light
stars above hang in the balance
holding it's breath
between sunset and dawn
each moment a pause
i wait for the song
to break through the dark
to cover me softly 
the rain wakes me up
hear, the heartbeat is strong
and my hands are no longer
my heart once again is 
but the song of the morning

Tuesday, December 10, 2013


concrete beneath me
quiet and engaged
in every breathe
like cigarettes
like coffee and constellations
in sharp winter air
you are fully there
when my eyes are wide
when my words are small
and my fingers hurt 

when my words are violent 
rocks thrown hard
rippling on the lake
scaring the birds
your words are swimming 
they're stirring the leaves
they're running from me
i'll shut my eyes to hear
i'll climb the hill and see you there
i will know your many colors and faces
i will see or hear or feel the traces
your forms and your flavors
are my daily bread


plow with brighest silver
these once were swords
but now i am a farmer
dirt tosses and turns
rake and refine
it's funny what you find
when you are digging.
like wooden boxes as a child
buried deep with your secrets
pesos and gold ribbons
and pieces of blue porcelain
milk glass and metal
traces of tornado
so we dig up the dead
pink granite bricks
indian clay
and poison ivy fences
it seems you weren't aware of this
and none of us can carry this

plow with brightest silver

these once were swords
but now i'm a farmer
the dirt is dark earth
raw and inviting
awaken my senses
like coffee and constellations
every book you've never read
swallow me into this
i'll give all that i have

bury the tree of life
bury the seeds you find
and the speck will grow
into much better things

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Skywalker Hill

streams of new depths
teem with bright fish
silver and gleaming
they run with the rivers
and into my chest

ever leaning
into to this
knowing all the thoughts that kiss
my mind are all renewing

my eyes squint at 7am
when truth won't make sense
the golden hill hints
that the mountains are shrinking
when i walk on the sky
the pine trees will glance
at my face so entranced
by this morning arrival

Ocean Drains

blue like the mountains 
blue like the sea, blue like sky
all the things are marked and measured
but you still don't know when it will rain
and you'll never know where the ocean drains

the water fills me up 

and yes it runs out 'til i don't care
leaks through the cracks (they've always been there)
but i don't know anyone quite like you
who is so happy when i sit down
to notice the birds and the clouds
and the specks on cold concrete 
and i think i'm only crying with relief
that you are here, not just there

you are here, not just there


i long for 
your hands on my shoulders
i'm not getting older 
i'll stay right here
i long for my hands to feel
the texture of tree trunks growing
to pick on guitar strings
that run with your voice
to sing with my eyes shut
drown out the noise

the way you sail
the way you go down
glittering in my throat
glimmer in my eyes
you're the pain at sunrise

i love the way you are there
the way you go down
the sigh in my throat
relief in my lungs
you are the peace at sunrise

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Tangled Blue

your words are wild
like the tangled blue
my backpack is light
when i walk with you
and i'll push you,
'cause i want you near
your voice i think i need to hear
roar like a thousand lions
like a thousand waterfalls
renewing the mind 

swing wide

you stubborn
rusty doors
open, ribcage
wide enough
to resurrect anew
wash the fading hues
reinvent my rivers
your eyes 
they give me shivers
You see right through the blue

Sunday, October 6, 2013

October Embers

bright leaves falling, fire on the wind
i've seen you grow golder 
i've seen you ascend 
each amber drop 
from the sunrise you bring
told me to laugh
and taught me to sing

You are the water through fern canyon
tides on long island, dreams in the mountains
trinidad speaks of your restart
new songs are humming inside your throat
redwoods are growing inside your heart
your visions like lassen dragonflies,
october embers burn in your eyes
hold his hand tightly, music inside
october will always
find you alive

Tuesday, September 24, 2013


dust and dirt my every entry
before life there was earth
darkest soil, planting pretense
potential coursing, gritty roots

rise up, son
i'll teach you to breathe
like the greening garden inhales
striking blue river roar
cold and contrast, engraving Eden

Thursday, September 19, 2013


someday you will know me
you'll sing all my songs
you will gasp at the colors
of the tattoos
on my arms


some words seep
down to the bones
they get past the walls 
and the locks
and the stones

some words drip
like sap in the sun
oil on head
bright on the honeycomb

some words stick 
the song's in my head
and the smile's on my face
when we talk on the phone

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Rushing Wind

they come at night 
kids with crowbars 
to scream and rage 
and break the pane 
til the cops come to fake
and see if im okay
but im fine-
and while i learn to fly
down the concrete hill
let that rushing wind
clear out the dust
from my broken lungs
break open my rib cage
and steal my beating heart.

and you come in the morning 
when my peace has drained
my mind filled with promise
broken again 
heavy doses of pain 
i'm ready to take
but you drank that cup
and passed me the grace
in a heavy mug.

and i take a deep breath-
that rushing wind,
it makes all the difference.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013


the garden grows wild
the graveyard is ours
each tear to water 
the stepping stones
and cornerstones
in a breaking home
each laugh to cut 
the cold clear streams 
through granite boulders
each yell to shake 
the earth beneath
each word for me to hang on 
each drop for me to drink
run to make the foxes flee
smoke the song in memory
each footstep a way to realize
i began to seek and find 
and my life began to break me 
and i know the days 
they got too dark 
for us to see 
but i'm okay with waking up 
to pounding feet
slamming screens 
children's voices 
and all my choices 
fade to green 

Sunday, August 11, 2013


sunlight is new and old
renewing of the mind
is pain and breaking
grace fills the spaces
the empty places
settles in the cracks
of the sidewalk
where the daring things grow

carry my affliction
i'm looking for stepping stones
jumping puddles alive
reflection is shocking
i'm different than before.


redwood heart, living and dead
like the twisted tangled forest
the giants only fall
does it even beat at all?
your fingers in the roots
tearing at the rotting fruit
feel the fibers- is it you?
or the blood that's running through
toss and turning like the sea
all the things that shattered me
those arrows bleeding deep
and i only want to breathe.

run through tangled forestry 
and i swear you'll always see the sea

Wednesday, August 7, 2013


your footsteps burnt 
holes in the floor
splintered doors
cracks in the ceiling
like the san andreas fault 
and every safe and vault
was robbed and emptied
the floor shook beneath 
laughing at me
proof that it's me 
and my fault lines that bring
this valley to ruin.
i fled to the coast
to find new weather
more viking than victor.

and most days, it's true
i am drunk on disaster
and i swim with the shattered 
sharks to be wild
and i swing with a sword
that i built as a child
your grace makes me golden
i'm no exception
it's looking for hope
it washes me clean
it hurts and it stings
and runs down my face
to drown out the pain
to settle in the breaks
of my thirsty being

Brandy Creek

light filters softly
through these shallows
emerald green water 
not as shallow as me
speaks in the rhythms   
in the ripples from afar
in quiet voices
that i push aside
i've heard that many times
and it still doesn't sink
like the rocks beneath 
bend in reflection
thoughts are hazy
there's no one 
shallow as me 
shallow as me

Sunday, July 28, 2013


(i am the river)
cold clear water 
relieve my tangled thoughts 
relive the battles lost
no longer 

(i am the interstate)
carry me through the night
reaching the other side
recalling the turning tide
no longer 

(i am the mountain range)
follow me on the drive
burn in the back of my mind 
regretting the younger side
no longer 

drive to the cloudy coast
in the morning 
telling me stories
of wide open hearts.


if i had arms
i'd reach across
this great expanse
and hold your hand

if i had legs 
i'd walk the plank 
down the dirt road
into your mercy

if i had a heart
i'd drum the days
and dance in the dark
i'd bleed and understand

if i was brave
i'd surf the disaster
and swim with the sharks
not hide my laughter

if i had a face
i'd paint it with grace
my tears would be real
my eyes would be blue

i'm always reflecting
my half resurrection
i'm still waiting for you
to come into view


over the bridges
blue lake brighter
than the sky in June
give me time
to think of words to say
to make you look this way
i'll carry it with you
if you promise to stay.

Sunday, July 21, 2013


sunset around me 
sadness surround me 
and override the madness
falling through the branches 
it clings to humid air
it follows me, i swear

dusk all around me
concrete surround me
to surf the breaking street
burning in between
the sadness underneath
peace: anywhere but here

grace follows you, i swear
i heard it inside
of the quiet goodbye
i saw it glisten
in the corner of your eyes
like dragonflies
just touching the surface 
of serene summer night
the colors of flight 
daring to land 
on the grandest design
rippling lake 
lights up the night 

Saturday, July 20, 2013


mountainside stretches
far and wide
like maps laid out to dry
still wet with ink
heather and sage 
and indian paintbrushes 
trees lean above me
towers and canopies
they listen to me 
and offer no piece
and the flowers just sing
in spite of my flaws
i don't follow the cause
i won't follow your laws
i'd rather see your face
just show me your claws
meet me there
dragonflies in the air
ripples on the lake
sunlight on your hair 
that's just how i feel 
in the deep mountain air 
a thousand small rivers 
run here within
and ten thousand voices
i won't let them in

i've gotta find you 
i've gotta know
rivers are running 
to valleys below
the rocks that i'm throwing 
are sinking beneath 
to drown out the grief 
some sort of relief
and the trail unending 
just leads back to me 

Friday, July 5, 2013


i need to know 
if grace can reach this far
if sun can set apart 
my silhouette
if days blur into one 
if half written songs can be sung 
i need to know
i am not half-hearted 
it was me that started this fight 
it was you i wrestled all night 
i need to know that my pain has a color 
that bleeds with the sunset 
that my joy swells in the morning,
when i greet the dawn

love unending
love surrendering
grace is erasing
it's me i am facing

white paint over 
the broken places
pictures, faces
i do not regret 
i cannot repent 
and you hug me anyways.

Friday, June 7, 2013

14 miles

wind plays in your hair
the sea shining on your eyes
smalls specks of light
this makes you more alive
walk this path
invite us into this adventure
you will see every broken thing rebuilt
you believe every ship was made to sail

you are a flag in the rubble

colors dance in the darkness
you painted the scars gold
told me never to grow old

that smile has a way

of telling me i'm so wrong
not so strong
so full of shit
but you like me anyways.

June 7th

the spark in your eyes
when the sky lit up 
the pain in your eyes 
when i drank the cup
we came alive
just to survive
and cry to the stars above
i was sent to the river to pray
to bury myself in thoughts
to drown in stubborn battles
to kick against your shoves
do you love me really?
running on the path 
i'm chasing you chasing me
time moves too slowly
and tonight
you will find me
by the fire
waiting for you
to take off the blindfold
grab my hand
break down the walls
awaken my soul


those eyes have seen
so many things
witnessed pain and majesty
those eyes glint with trust 
like you know a secret:
his grace is enough
to make you smile.

those eyes remind me 
of walking on water
rain in the morning
boats in the harbor
gardens are growing
because you believe
his grace is enough
to make us smile.

those eyes can say 
so many things
i know you've found
the well to drink
those eyes are fountains
life and tears
and stormy years
don't change that living water
and you go back to find him 
at the well
i know you always say his name
but he likes to say yours more.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013


i see everything
and every morning sees me
every touch deceives me
every color reads me

i see everything

and every evening sees me
every road receives me
no one ever needs me

like flowers in the morning

and brown bottles at night
every thought is past and future
nothing is tonight 

there's a message in this bottle

throw it out to sea
throw it out to see
if it comes back to me

there's a message in this bottle

i'm drinking it to see
i'm drinking it to sea
if oceans can be free


my eyes are soft
i can see everything
the wind under the door
the fire inside
leaves me on the floor
mindless reeling
is not the same as feeling it all.

regret is the pain in my side
the stab of things 
that don't make sense
your dark clothes 
are disappointment
(i can see it in my head)
but you never dress like that
and you've never even said
'i'm done with you.'
(that was me)
i cannot read the scattered signs
maybe i'm blind 
the clouds are divine
things i don't expect 
you give me again and again
my promises are nothing:
your love is everything.


written in the sand 
all the things i want to say
all the pain in the way 
of me and you

hidden underneath

all the things that i hate
all the waves overtake
me and you

walking on the shore

i throw it all out to sea
all the words in between
me and you

Saturday, June 1, 2013


i was born between midnight and dawn
when the wind finds the water 
dreaming again.
they put me in a boat 
with sea shells and sharks teeth 
the clouds swam
she was in the sky above
the moon a pearl necklace
around her forgotten face

i was born blinded
from the bright sins of my father
my brothers rope around my wrist 
shut inside a child's fist
a hidden kiss

i was born crying
when the day began
the sunrise was white
like bleached cowries 
sheets on the line
baby's face is mine
white like the sails
on the boats 
in the morning

Long Island

when we leave 
it all blurs past 
light blue sky
gold on the windows 
sunrise flickers and hides 
behind green trees
i have nothing to decide
i've never seen this morning 
i never slept last night
i've never breathed quite right
your words hang in my mind 
and no one looks me in the eye

Friday, May 3, 2013


don't hide this time
i can't take that
show up uninvited
grab me by the hand
laugh loudly
like footprints in the garden
and dancing on the roof
tell me that there's proof
that babies born can conquer death
songs can carry every breath
hope is twin to faith
but i can't recall her face.

no one can find us
under the oak trees
sunlight shines through
the ache is quiet
if i had words i'd speak
if i had a song i'd sing
your eyes are saving me
your blood is in my years
and grace is in your tears.

Friday, April 26, 2013


i've seen the red sky
painted with pain
drops of peace 
trail across the windshield
rugged roots drip brown 
where gold promises are planted
grace grows, green and vivid

you found me gray;
i was not born this way.
i am a photograph
let all those colors
bleed into one river
and wash me over.

shut one eye

through the lense
find my smile
film unwind
watch the wild watercolor
eyes overexposed
technicolor glow
no words
just walk me home.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013


your photograph is color
youngest face
could not dream of pain like this
expecation is wide open arms
and when disappointment came 
for a one night stand 
it was safe to land
and you never let go.

if you find pain in the journey,
look it deep in the eyes
name it and stay up late in the fight 
then send it on it's way.

if you find beauty,
invite it into the castle's keep
to come and go as it please
to clean out the dust
to tell the children stories
and sit at the table,
hold hands and say grace. 

Foxes Field

ink on my wrist
blurs in my mind
and your words
like small swords
stick in my mind
each battle to win
with a death of some kind
so i spin to the music
watching your eyes

i hear the grass growing under my feet

i hear the earth breathing a sigh of relief
i feel like the blue sky is waiting on me

your hand holds tight

the blade that you built 
in some earthquake or fire
and i swing 'cause i have to
(my brother taught me how to fight)
and the blade between my ribs
makes me feel more than alive
and if i die i should be
on the growing clover
in the foxes field
beneath the white oak
in April.

Thursday, April 4, 2013


swallow the morning 
sing in the stillness 
the quiet beneath us
unplowed earth
wild wheatgrass 
bows to the wind
and all this begins
i lift my eyes up 
and greet the dawn

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Across the River

beneath it all is a little kid
so full of stories
don't close your eyes, don't turn away
i'm not too much, i'm not enough
small shoes on stepping stones
across the river
follow me, i'll show you
all the days that you missed
all the faces you would kiss
all the reasons for this

do our days bleed into one lifetime?
or have i lived many lives
each chapter it's own
to open then close
or part of one book?
is there a map of the landscape before me?
these pages so specific i can't see the story
i can't see the forest in the trees
i can't see the tree inside the leaves

the stars spread majestic
hung across the sky
we don't have to travel
to find new things
dance around the fire
stargazing on the river banks
watch the colors change
from night to day
you know i'm here to stay.

Monday, April 1, 2013


this is real
i am here 
face to the glass
the night blurs past
i see the trees
where crickets cry
to the sleeping stars
trees touch the sky
and we fall apart
crooked outlines
branches reach high
and we reach higher.