Thursday, April 27, 2017

46 stitches

46 stitches 
Is not enough 
to fix this heart 
grant me relief 
grant me restart 
hope and belief 
just torn apart 

it was trust in me 
it was all of my doing
what's built on me
becomes my undoing

I kicked 
I screamed 
I fought relentlessly 
And finally 
You've broken me

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Walking on Air

There are not enough words
To engage your attention
To measure and gauge 
This constant affliction 
All that I've done 
It plays in my head
Feeds in a loop
What I haven't said 
Turns into desire
Call it attraction
The bed of a man
Grants me distraction

So grant me relief 
I know something's wrong
Not that I feel it, 
All feelings gone
But I see it within me 
Internal bleeding 
Silent and subtle
All that I'm needing
So I hold my head up 
I hold it together
Take the edge off
Adapt to the weather
Breath and keep breathing
Try hard to care 
And going to work 

Is walking on air 

Monday, April 24, 2017

Free Fall

Free fall 
Into the emptiness 
to the brokenness 
Reach out 
And touch this 
Make my bed 
In the valley 
of pilgrims regress 

Steady, rushing river 
Ease my tangled mind
Smooth my restless wounds 
And would you wash me within?
No new road 
Could grant me restart
No amount of rain
Could cleanse this heart.  

Thursday, April 20, 2017


Come on 
Will you trust me? 
Let go of all doubting 
Jump off of that empty bridge 
Into my direction 

Come on 
Don't you know me? 
I know you completely 
Step off of that cliff 
Into my perfection

Come on
Don't you trust me? 
It hurts that you just don't 
Jump off of that lonely ledge 
Into my affection

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Silver Heart

steady hazel eyes 
just like our father
you can see through the lies
you can feel through the rubble
steady silver heart 
just hidden from view
you've seen so many sunsets 
they just soaked into you 

I've seen you cry 
when you laugh too hard
I've seen you sleep
In the middle of the yard 
I saw you frown 
In that subtle way 
I saw you smile 
and it lit up the day


I hold still 
and feel her rinse my wounds 
over and over again 
Each time the pain is fresh. 
Blonde hair and blue eyes
like me 
she is focused on the skin 
quietly answering my questions
Do you enjoy it? Do you like doing sutures?
stitch my skin up 
yeah, stitches are simple and easy 
it's one of the more enjoyable things


You cannot measure 
The depths of my depravity
You cannot wrap your arms around 
The width of this pain

And this I pray 
That you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend
what is the breadth and length 
and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Monday, April 17, 2017

April Rain

April came
like a heavy rain 
reminders of pain
and the reasons why 

April rain 
to wash the stain 
future grace 
and a bluer sky

Tuesday, April 11, 2017


The scars on my arms 
Make me look more realistic 
Because the inside of my heart
Looks nothing like the pictures