you’re the future

your mothers tears,

your mothers fears

stored up

wrapped up 

given to you 

your fathers sigh

his triumph and failure

all these things

run through your veins

strengthen your bones

thorn in your side,

pit in your stomach

these things, 

run through your veins 

do they have the final say?

is it destiny or dna

walk on, tiger

forage the forest

tear through the jungle

make a sound 

like no one else

you’re not history 

you’re the future

you bloom and grow 

out of the cracks

pieces of the past

born from the pillars

of your mothers smile 

and your fathers grin

sweat and sin 

crack like the earth

opening up

tip your head back

to drink the water

hunger and thirst

you will get your fill

you will find your name

you will make a way 

i want to begin

Life began, i don’t remember when 

it spit us out of the garbage chute

out of the waterfall 

sent downstream 

moving like a crocodile

strong as a bull

head above water, faster than a kayak

when it hurt, i didnt notice

i shook off the dust

i didn’t stop to cry

over spilled milk

or even suicide

i didn’t stop,

to smell the roses

or smell the blood

that poured from the cuts

i didn’t see the tears that glisten

catching sunlight 

on even the darkest day

my hands are still strong 

my heart still beats too fast

in need of a hug

in need of a bath

are we invincible

or vulnerable

i don’t want to be just one

it seems like they

are the only two options

surely there’s balance 

surely there’s an in between,

a half written song

maybe we can still

live in the future

looking ahead, 

without missing today 

being alive, 

a blessing and a curse

a hug and a kiss

the strongest fist

when i see the sunset, 

it’s like life ends

i don’t want it to end

i want to begin

yellow as the moon

life is pale, but bright

yellow as the moon

that keeps us awake

you give and you take

in the depths of the night

always leaving a bite for me

always leaving the door unlocked

my nose is blocked

my system shocked

sore legs and dizzy heads

shared beds

i starve and i thirst

so take life 

and drink it to the dregs

drink til i burst

overfilled cups

empty water bottles

lost keys and wasted time

never wasted i guess

time is never wasted

even if it’s spent on 

spending, giving

hurting and taking

sleeping and healing

too much feeling

try to find words

try to find meaning

it’s not that deep

just go to sleep

tomorrow you’ll wake up

with an empty stomach

and a clear head

ready for more

ready to devour the day 

ready to speak strongly

work hard

and sing better songs 

i come up for air

things turned blue 

like the sky 

when the clouds pass

smoothing it over

pushing the weather

to make room for today

yellow as the moon

that smiles down

keeping us awake 

tossing and turning

these seas of possibilities

keep me wondering 

overwhelming waves 

push me under 

but i come up for air

i come up for air

push me down

or reach for me

i will still 

come up for air 

the sunlight heals

did you know 

you brought light 

and art 

into my life 

that when you came around 

i noticed 

how the food tasted 

how the sunlight healed 

and how clay felt

when it was shaped into something

and i remembered 

it was better to stop 

than keep on running

did you know that 

when we met

i was quieter than I’d ever been 

i was weak from the fight

i had stitches in my skin

i was afraid i was no longer me 

i was afraid the shape shifting shell

had finally run out of energy

and i was done.

& sunlight hurts

but it’s better to wake up 

and face the day 

life feels like vacation 

or sometimes just a sick day 

when im not working three jobs

but it isn’t so lonely 

& powerless

when a friend is nearby 

to remind you eat, drink and sleep

and remind me that,

im still me 

even when my battery is on 1%. 

so stand tall

and listen to the branches fall

walk on 

listen to your favorite song 

even if you just love it this week. 

so stand strong 

the ride will keep

pushing you along 

make sure to laugh 

and drink until

the drink is gone

and stay put

if you find somewhere 

that feels like home 

try to rest 

try to take your walls down 

and the sunlight hurts

but it’s better to wake up 

and face the day 

lounge in the darkness

I need to lounge in the darkness 

held by the night 

I need to press my nose

on rock bottom 

and feel it cut my face 

I need to drink the gravel 

and the quicksand 

that buries me 

Ill wash my feet in the snow 

and watch the blood seep  

feel the salt in my skin 

washed out in the deep

because 

do you know 

that I don’t feel much 

That I don’t know what 

To say 

unbroken by snow

hope, will reach you

with arms like tree branches

strengthened by sunlight 

unbroken by snow

reaching up

like a newborn baby 

hungry and expectant

and hope will reach you 

like the mother of all

she’ll swoop you up

pull you out from 

underwater

and teach you to walk 

hope, will reach you 

it’ll stretch like power lines 

buzzing from the source 

lighting up the shadows

on the littered street

hope you will reach you

you’ll get back up 

you’ll feel relief again

you’ll notice the sunlight 

melting the snow into 

new, clean water

you’ll notice the warmth 

on the coldest day 

you’ll find the words

to speak today