Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Lion Grass

Your ever-soaring, roaring wings
Can't hide the bitter pain within...
I've been peering deep inside
Counter-weighing loss and win
I sort through many bloody thorn
Searching past for origin
Boys that cry and babies born
I reach beyond where scars begin
I run my fingers on the pane
Feel the spiderwebbing dreams
I run my fingers on the pain
And feel the stinging, burning seams
Where do seeds grow lion grass?
Fix my shattered looking glass
When do scars imprint their shame?
Lets go back and change my name
How beautiful the shattered glass; 
The colors dance off silver lines
The cracks are roads; lets travel back 
And find the roots of ancient vines
 Chest deep in wandering, pondering, thinking
In your ocean I am sinking

Monday, March 14, 2011

Nightmare from God

Last night I had a dream. I have had some awful dreams, but this may have been the worst I've had so far. It was terrifying, disgusting, angering, awful...but I consider it a nightmare from God. I think some dreams are attacks from the enemy, but others, even if they are creepy like a "bad dream," are simply God revealing the attack of the enemy. If Satan was in his right mind, he wouldn't reveal to us the heart of the Father. He wouldn't show us his secret creeper plans. He wouldn't reveal to us what we should do with our lives, which this dream did. I won't go into detail, but this dream showed me and let me feel not only the worst pain that humans can feel, but the pain the Father feels as he watches His children go through hell. I have always wanted to go to Africa, and am completely still planning on it. I will travel all over the world, but that has been my main focus. I have thought some about Cambodia and India, because of family and friends that do missions there. Human trafficking and the sex slave industry has always made me mad, but I have not felt the pain that God feels until last night. "Those are my kids," He told me. I don't know how it will work, I don't know how doors will open, how I will end up in South Africa, in Tanzania, in Cambodia, in places in India. But all I know is I want to help the helpless, fight for people who can't fight, serve people who have nothing to give back.