did i cross it an hour ago

ideas and trains of thought.

what is and what’s next and what may be.

what we did and what we’re doing.

tied up, headache and heartbeat. 

try to wrap my head around, understand. 

too much. 

compress and condense. try to be steady. feeling and energy, it is pressure, white emotion.

yellow sparks of anger. where does the hurt come from. what lights the fire.

why does it just happen, when i don’t care. i don’t think. my emotions just speak. 

and the more i speak the less i am heard.

too much

the lump, the haze

the fog, the cloud 

a fist in my stomach

something i cannot say

but cannot swallow

it’s a prick 

a sharp pain 

when i cross that line.

where is it. i have no idea. 

is it ten minutes, is it one minute. 

did i cross it an hour ago.