not quite touched,
by grief, by death,
by the shadows cast
beneath the mountains
home to the foxes
garden of sunflowers
and stinging nettles
all seen through the window,
the trains, like clockwork
lace the clean air
with electricity
and shock you with certainty
that you are home
although home has been,
so many places.
papi, you’re quiet
your intelligent mind
is softened by your eyes
maybe you know
maybe you’re ready?
tell me your stories
as i fall asleep
safe and at ease
though mum is away
distant for so many days.
mum, your strong soul
resilient and true
focused on something
maybe you know
maybe you’re ready,
for the days ahead.
did you know your eyes,
& words in my mind
they stay with me,
though space & time
threaten to wash me,
and erase the past.
older, but still young
you are married to your love
and the road to here,
it’s been so long
and is marked by music
photos and books
sometimes dancing
and sometimes held
through the sick,
and sad days
when you ache for home.
heavy tears have washed,
the years like watercolor
violet and blues
the most beautiful hues.
don’t paint over the pain,
please don’t cover it up
i need to remember
i need to know
though i have let go
i still know her
i still contain the light
i still need the color
that bleeds through the grey
brother sends photos
of lakes that make you gasp
and wish for that sunset
and papi speaks slow
both english and swiss german
stories he’s never told
and it all points to home
although your loves,
they live, so many places
not all of them here
and it aches when you remember
you can’t call her on the phone
do you think maybe she’s home,
maybe she really knows?
jasmine & edelweiss
still on the table
soft and floral,
breathing deep
the air shocks
and reminds you,
that you're still home
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