Monday, January 8, 2018

bevvy jo

i looked
and saw the past
it doesn’t seem to exist 
until you talk about it
she said her dad was always angry at her 
and she didn’t know why
that her mom was a hard, 
strong little woman 
raised in an orphanage
I told her that they loved her 
but didn’t know how to say it 
& that i remember when Nana (her mom) died because the song Give Me Jesus
“i picked that song. i don’t know if she liked it. you were there? how did you know her?”
i reminded her who i was,
who my parents are
brad and Stephanie 
i’m your granddaughter 
& she heard it, like the very first time 
like i suddenly existed
a brand new baby 

her eyes filled with tears 
and her shoulders began to shake 
because the weight of the years 
is a lot to take in 
and it hurts each time,
when you hear for the first time
again and again 
i told her it was real
and it’s such a relief 
each time she hears 
it’s hearing for the first time 

i read her this poem 
and she responded 
“it’s the truth 
it’s soft and it’s real.”

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