and saw the past
it doesn’t seem to exist
until you talk about it
she said her dad was always angry at her
and she didn’t know why
that her mom was a hard,
strong little woman
raised in an orphanage
I told her that they loved her
but didn’t know how to say it
& that i remember when Nana (her mom) died because the song Give Me Jesus
“i picked that song. i don’t know if she liked it. you were there? how did you know her?”
i reminded her who i was,
who my parents are
brad and Stephanie
i’m your granddaughter
& she heard it, like the very first time
like i suddenly existed
a brand new baby
her eyes filled with tears
and her shoulders began to shake
because the weight of the years
is a lot to take in
and it hurts each time,
when you hear for the first time
again and again
i told her it was real
and it’s such a relief
each time she hears
it’s hearing for the first time
i read her this poem
and she responded
“it’s the truth
it’s soft and it’s real.”
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