Colorado

(one year ago) 

the map is inside me 

the lines divide the states of mind 

I recall and replay 

every place that felt like home 

every time I felt okay 

I need a father to remind me I am young 

I need a little sister to show me I am older

I need an intervention 

to derail the train I'm on 

I need a mother just to 

hold me when I try to run 

my need 

for nicotine 

for wandering 

for everything 

can you just color me

make me 

a sight to see 

my shattered 

self esteem 

my blue eyes 

are watering 

the way you 

walk with me 

the hill top 

is soft beneath 

the stars are just whispering 

trying not to bother me 

I can't 

explain these things 

i don't want to be so mean

questions are threatening

i just want to learn to breathe