peripheral

you were a loose cannon 
my little trainwreck

staying in the peripheral

at the edges of my life 

you move fast, 

and drink slow

looking for the right song

and none of them fit

remember that Friday? 

we rode in a helicopter 

i gasped at the view 

i could see beyond this 

remember my birthday? 

i cried at my party

happy and sad

at the same time 

i was looking for the right song

and none of them would fit

heavy

i remember 

the dark that was heavy 

hindering, binding 

i couldn’t sleep 

you wrapped me up tight

gentle and right 

spoke to the silence 

with words that i had 

no answer for

sing to my silence

speak over my noise

lift up my head, 

and i will rejoice 

trouble with boys

Your trouble with boys 

hurts like white noise 

wash up on the concrete 

wake and rejoice 

Your trouble with boys

drowning you out 

blurring your colors 

to shadow and doubt

all your trouble with men

stings on the skin 

like a tattoo, begin

with beautiful sin 

i don’t know how to

step into view 

to sink or to swim

to reach out and touch you 

Your trouble with boys

it hurts like the sunrise

somebody’s sunset

somebody’s morning 

i used to know you 

i used to know how

to unearth a smile 

to see you somehow

i know your birthday

Your eyes search 

Looking into me

What do you see? 

Your words speak 

Try to teach me

What reaches me? 

Your hands reach

out to touch me

maybe cautiously 

You come come after me

maybe aimlessly 

like the falling leaves

but they have a fire 

they burn and

they breathe

yellow and gold

wind and relief 

i couldn’t remember

all that you said

my heart doesn’t feel it 

but it’s in my head 

i couldn’t remember 

what I wanted to say

i’m eager to leave

but wanting to stay 

i can’t recall 

the normal things

color of your eyes, 

emotional thing 

i know your blood type

i hear when you sing

i am here, i’m not listening 

i cannot recall 

the easiest things 

tone of your voice, 

color of your skin

i know your birthday

i know your best friend 

i am here, would you stay with me