Stones

sunrise is pain
because i'm undeserving
the dusty light reminds me 
of walks with you
by the coldclear river
on the stepping stones
wondering what makes your eyes light up.

blue like the sky
grey like gunpowder
you are insane, and i am insanity
i'm afraid i'm not afraid of anything
but you.

Raven

close your eyes
hear the music
red and gold
ignore the sound of
disillusion
disenchantment
echoing through the halls
voicing disappointment
quiet behind the walls
the words that told me
i was wrong.

set a table
feed us on the edge of war
secrets are behind the door
but your eyes tell all
and this kingdom falls a part.

run through the field
this is all a game
blackbirds and brightest days
fights i can't speak of
kites in the sky above
and i'll do anything for love.

i will go back, and till the land
i'll find you a friend
i'll hold your hand
i will run in the dark streets
and sit on the pavement 
under the stars.

Beneath the trees

beneath the trees
we dreamed
of sailing down river
pirates in the sun
never hungry, never wrong
with buried coins and summer songs
returning to Sunnyslope street
to sleep in warm bunk beds.

the years are a blur
of rainstorms and renegades
funerals and parades
you grew so fast
i saw the fire
layers of paint (and pain)
rebuilding Raven
rewriting stories

and some nights i wish
we weren't pirates in the storm
i wish i was hungry, always wrong
buried dreams and springtime songs
let's sail up the river
where things are small
and sit and dream
beneath the trees.

Hike

this fight, this hike
as the sun drops low
and gold light hovers
and covers this town
the train passes by 
without a glance
i'm missing my chance 
for escape.
my broken walking stick 
scraping the ground
the glass all around
glitters silently
awaiting my sermon.

i am a preacher
though i cannot speak
i will recite your recital
i will voice my confusion
untangle the vines
exposing the lies
humming in the storm.
sky is my witness:
let your words bring life
written in ink
bound on arms
inscribed on my feet
rings on my fingers
words scratched on copper
i cannot run from hope
let me not escape grace 
find gold in my proverbs
blood on the psalms
and dirt on my palms
because i fight for it. 

i still believe in you, father
new ground beneath my feet
your song in my mouth
strengthen my hands, come with me 
help me drink this cup.

Compass

morning is rain 
sunrise soft white 

sandals lead

to places i've seen

red rocks reach

clear rivers grow 

i was anything,

at least a year ago 

when you found me 

caught in the whirlwind

blazing in the fight 

young hearts bleed

coming into the light. 

look me in the eyes

send me up the mountain 

tell me to go and find

what i'm looking for 

my dreams of broken skies
questions i can't answer

you do not despise 

filtering sunlight

breathing desert dust

bleeding regret 

everything between us 

he drew us a map

the compass points on

i'm doing this wrong 

i'll think of you

when i greet the dawn.

Hands

hands like iron 
pray for us
hands are broken
bleed for what?
hands like leather 
hammer wood
hold together 
this dangerous dysfunction

they smell of pine sawdust
and gasoline
he wore a gold ring
promising her never to take it off
and he never has. 

spring 2011

Sailor

you're the same, you're different
do you remember? 
what do you know? 
i swear the earth moves beneath
when we're wandering
the clouds cry
when we're lost at sea
looking for dad
searching for healing 
the scars are for stories
the stars are enjoying
our every step

all of my stories blur into one.
 
i like the way you move
i know you, i understand
not everything, but more than you think
your mind turning
like the gears of my bike
your ship is sailing
at the end of this night
give me your backpack
give me those things
if i could carry the pain for you
i would.

River Real

eyes search beyond
or behind
smooth stones opened your eyes
mountains made me grow
a child came to life.
the songs forgotten
staring out the window
i've never been so hungry,
when we cried on the trails
burdens broken
the sound drowned out your tears
you have a voice-
like the rushing blue river real
a living promise.
cool pavement
thoughtful in the alley 
together in the streets
clean clothes, i kept the key  
freedom is the way you walk,
the way you never forget,
it's the color in your eyes.

remember
all the things that made me tremble
the hands that held mine
revealed the breaking
surrounding safe
fierce intention
made me cry 
bread and wine
i realize 
it hurts.

Solidify the Sunrise

and everyone tries
to solidify the sunrise
into stained glass and tigers eyes
angel dust crystallized
crayons and moonshine
bottled up and bootlegged
oil paints and portraits 
on canvas, false remakes

melted into silver chains
promise rings and bullet trains
golden clocks and hammered planes
mined and cut into lovers stones
diamonds set in shining gold
stuck into the fiery coals
little embers glow
and pretend to be the sun.

and while i love to play with fire 
find the colors, paint desire
breathe it, take it deep inside
reenact and symphonize 
i think today i'm quite all right 
with killing the clock
sitting down on the dock 
watch the colors dance across
and feel my heart stop.

spring 2009